Battling With My Weight.....

Gaining weight is something we usually don't talk about openly (at least I don't!). Unfortunately, I always viewed my weight gain as evidence of a lack of self-control or a weakness. But, a very wise woman once told me, "Life happens."

My life did happen...not in a way I expected. We went through fertility treatments for 4 years. During that time period I went organic, and obsessively monitored everything that went into my body. I cut out dairy. I ate only warm, cooked foods. I (mostly) avoided alcohol and over the counter medications. I missed my coffee. I subjected myself to hormone altering medications. I was convinced that if I could make my body healthy enough, then the treatments would yield a baby.

That was not the case. Failure after failure left me feeling very angry with my body. It was not doing what I thought it was supposed to do. Eventually I gave up, and didn't take care of it at all.

Not taking care of my body brought me to a point I did not enjoy. I was frequently tired, often ill, and lacked energy. Oh wait...those things happened after I became the mother of two toddlers! Anyway, I did not feel good mentally or physically.

In January I joined Weight Watchers. I love the program and am having success. Better yet, I can acknowledge that I am no longer angry at my body for "failing" me. Having children that way was not meant to be for Husband and I. All along we were supposed to become BB and BG's parents, just the way it happened.

I am finally doing something kind for myself. I have hope that I can improve my health and make changes for the better. It is great feeling to have back.