Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials. ~Meryl Streep

Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~Lisa Alther

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. ~Beverly Jones

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Brothers at Easter


Last week was our local Korean Camp. They have a three year old program, the Tiger Tots. BB attended for two half days. He absolutely loved it. They made bookmarks with their Korean names on them, prepared bibimbop, rolled kimbop, and sang Korean songs. He was able to hear traditional Korean drumming, see a martial arts demonstration, and watch a dragon dance. He has been talking about it ever since. He is already getting prepared to go to the "Bunny" room next year and keeps asking me when it will be time to go again.

Last week was also an informal gathering at my house and the our adoption agency's picnic. We spent most of the week with other families created through adoption and Korean adoptees.

Although we talk about adoption and Korea all the time, I have never been that sure BB has even a basic (developmentally appropriate) understanding of what it all means. We frequently tell his adoption story, from the decision his birth mother made to his first hours at home. Up until last week, he never asked many questions or made many comments related to his adoption story.

On the way home from a family event on Sunday, out of the blue, he asked if he had "brothers at Easter." It took me a minute to figure out the question. He knows he had brothers at his foster parent's house. He wanted to know if he had brothers at Eastern Babies Home. That night we looked at the pictures in the book "When You Were born in Korea" by Brian Boyd and Steve Wunrow.  He told me that the babies in the book were him. He wanted to know if they had toys there. He made a plan to visit them and bring them "BG's milk."  At one point he said he was going to pretend I was his birth mother. When I explained that his birth mother lives in Korea, he said he just wanted to pretend. A little later in the week BB asked me if one of his classmates is Korean (she is, and she is not adopted).

Even though he is only 3 and 1/2, I am amazed to witness the emerging understanding of his life story. He definitely does not understand all parts of it yet, but these questions tell me that he is starting to wonder about these aspects of his life. I hope that I do the right thing, in the right way, for both my children. They will each process these questions differently, and have different needs, as they go through the process of understanding where they came from and who they are. Everyday I pray I am able to tell their story, and answer their questions, in a way that helps them understand the happy and sad parts of the journey they are on.